Around the World in 80 Days (1956) - felt like 100 days

Where to begin really…. So this was up against “The Ten Commandments” which I think beat it on the epic scale and “The King and I” which actually may be the only other film that could match this on political incorrectness.

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the concept; it’s 1872 and foppish, honour-bound Brit, Phineas Fogg makes a bet (for no apparent reason) that he can make it around the world in 80 days. What follows is the 50s version of a mismatched buddy road movie with Phineas and his Mexican side kick, Passepartout, played by Cantinflas, (who was the highest paid Mexican actor of the 20th Century).

So what follows is 183 mins (over 2 dvds!) of shockingly clichéd and stereotyped scenes from different countries on their whirlwind passage around the world; bull-fighting and flamenco dancing in Spain, elephant rides and human sacrifice in India and wild west brothels and arrow shooting, train-hijacking Indians in America. The best bit was probably when they save the Indian princess from ritual sacrifice only for us to discover that the heavily faked tanned damsel was played by Shirley Maclaine in what she has admitted was her most hideously miscast role.

David Niven is suitably uptight and obsessive-compulsive as the globe-trotting Phineas and Cantinflas is actually very impressive in the role reprised by Jackie Chan in the 2004 remake, bull-fighting his way through the movie and avoiding becoming the comic relief to no purpose.

Best of all, while painted up like an orange, Shirley Maclaine mercifully doesn’t attempt an Indian accent – which is explained away by her being ‘educated at Oxford’. It was interesting to get a look at the 1870s world through a 1950s lens and contains some incredible photography and very few trick shots. The main problem with the film is the sheer length. The entertainment value drops exponentially with every additional minute added and so many of the scenes are actually quite fun and interesting for the first 2 or 3 minutes, but once they’ve continued on for no apparent reason and supplied no further momentum or purpose to the overall story, they just get kind of boring. Overall Mat scored it 62 out of 100 and I gave it 54.