Thursday, December 23, 2010

"Annie Hall" (1977) - can't hold a candle to "Mega-Shark"

For the life of me I don’t understand the appeal of Woody Allen. Maybe I’m just coloured by the knowledge that he actually turned out to be an incestuous paedophile. Maybe I’m still sore that this piece of crap robbed ‘Star Wars’ of an Oscar. Honestly though, I think I’m just shallow and judgemental and the idea that a weedy, nerdy, puny little bald guy could actually be deemed irresistible by a veritable who’s who of 70s actresses just leaves me shaking my head in disbelief.

Woody Allen is at his obsessive compulsive peak in this reportedly ‘romantic adventure’ that follows the rise and demise of a narcissistic, neurotic comedian’s relationship with a narcissistic, neurotic singer. The shots are long and plodding, like their rambling and apparently never-ending psychotherapy sessions and nothing seems to have a particular beginning or end – not the shots, not the acts, not the script not even the core relationship we’re supposed to give a damn about!

There are some cutesy and accurate zings at the movie/tv business in general, and the LA/New York divide, but they mostly come across as the observations of a petulant child who isn’t allowed to sit at the grown ups table.

Annie: It’s so clean out here.

Alvy: That’s because they don’t throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

Woody Allen, like Kenneth Branagh and the man who Allen pipped at the post with this offering, Mr George Lucas, would all be far better served by letting someone else tell their stories. When someone else directs and manages their artistic temperament and ‘vision’, the product becomes far less indulgent and much more compelling (see, ‘Scenes From a Mall’ versus ‘Annie Hall’, ‘Othello’ versus ‘Hamlet’ and ‘Empire Strikes Back’ versus any of the prequels!).

In all honesty the only way we managed to talk ourselves into watching this one all the way through was by bribing ourselves with the promise of ‘Mega-Shark versus Giant Octopus’ (which I may have to review at a later date). But the really sad part was, this schlock-mock horror movie with Deborah Gibson (of 80s big hair, pop light, lycra tights fame) tracking a prehistoric mega-shark and giant octopus through the ocean while they attack cruiseships and airplanes was 1000 times more entertaining than 1977’s Best Picture Winner, ‘Annie Hall’.

I did manage a 34 (which puts it in front of ‘Tom Jones’) and did manage to stay awake for this watching, but Mat only pulled out a 28 (probably because he had to spend so much time keeping me awake!)